Low-risk Strategy

At last, a U-turn by Gordon Brown that is unlikely to have any adverse electoral consequences.

As from tomorrow, prisoners were to receive a £1.50 per week pay increase, the first since the mid-1990s. However, with London and local elections tomorrow, the Government, no doubt anticipating the likely affront to already-aggrieved taxpayers whose net income has been reduced by the abolition of the 10p tax band, hastily scrapped the increase.

Equal, if not greater, affront has doubtless been caused to the prison inmates themselves, but, given that they are precluded from voting, the Government is nicely insulated from their wrath.

Go Spanish, Boris

Yesterday I spent half an hour at Stafford railway station. I won’t bore you with the details of how this came to pass. Suffice it to say that it was part of the routinely depressing experience that is the Sunday commute to London. I’ve come to expect a bad journey at the hands of Virgin Trains and Network Rail, and yesterday was no exception.

Anyway, the scheduled ten minute wait at Stafford turned, predictably enough, into a 30 minute sojourn. I attempted to kill time by buying, at the station café, a £1.50 paper cup of what was described as an “Americano”, but was in fact a quarter litre of undrinkable, brown-coloured, boiled water.

The reason I mention Stafford station, rather than try to obliterate the “coffee” from my memory, is that I had sufficient time, courtesy of Sir Richard Branson, to examine my surroundings. They were pretty repellent, as the photograph above reveals.

Last week, as a foreigner in Spain, I also had the chance to examine my surroundings. I was more than a little impressed with them. Both Barcelona, a major European city, and Bilbao, an industrial seaport, were extremely well kept. Both radiated an air of civic pride. Above all, both were very clean indeed.

At all hours of the day, and well into the night, men were fastidiously sweeping the streets. There was very little litter and the pavements were not pockmarked with dried-up, discarded chewing gum. It was a clean, cared-for, environment and, consequently, enjoyable.

I could not help compare the condition of the Spanish cities with that of what is now my second home town, London. I’ve blogged previously about the condition of London’s pavements, with their glutinous mini-minefields of chewing gum and their cigarette butts. London is not, at least in many parts, a clean city. Bits of it are positively nasty.

I mentally made excuses for London. It is, after all, an enormous city, thronged with humanity, and hard to keep clean. The waste bins have been removed from the streets because of the terrorist threat. Places like Victoria Street - one of the dirtiest in the capital – are particularly windy, and litter tends to drift.

But none of this is really an excuse. Barcelona is a pretty big city, too. And Spain, particularly the Basque country, has had more than its own fair share of terrorism.

So I’m driven to the unavoidable conclusion that what we see in London and in Stafford is a reflection of what we ourselves have become. We spit our chewing gum onto Victoria Street because we don’t respect our surroundings. In Stafford station, we throw our detritus onto the tracks because we can see that someone else has done so before us, and whoever runs the station can’t be bothered to clear it up, but just lets it accumulate.

We need a radical change of attitude. We need to take more pride in, and care for, our surroundings. We need to take more pride in ourselves. In short, we need to be more Spanish.

Today’s YouGov poll shows Boris Johnson leading Ken Livingstone by 11 percentage points. I fervently hope that it is right. The capital needs cleaning up, and Boris could be just the man to do it. Ken certainly hasn't.

London, with a bit of effort and a change in attitude from all of us, could be just as clean as Barcelona. And, where London leads, let's hope Stafford will follow.

Clegg on the Ropes

Listening to John Humphrys’s interview with Nick Clegg on the Today programme was horribly fascinating. Humphrys played the Lib Dem leader as a cat plays with a mouse, starting with a series of questions about the Lib Dem leader’s impressive record of premarital dalliance.

The more Clegg attempted to avoid the question, the more Humphrys returned to it. When Clegg said the confession had been made in a split second, Humphrys observed that people expected split second judgment from their leaders. Clegg spluttered a bit.

Humphrys then mischievously suggested that Clegg compared poorly with his stopgap predecessor, Vince Cable. Clegg was not only irked, but clearly so.

It was a bad-tempered, chippy, brittle performance by Clegg. He came over badly and will have to do better.

Humphrys was wonderful.

Pussycat Walk

Morning surgery in Abergele, followed by an afternoon of campaigning in Rhos on Sea.

Today, we concentrated on the Bryn Eglwys housing estate, which is one of the nicest I know. Built in the early 1950s around large greens, it is a model of town planning that would delight even Prince Charles, and has a tranquil feel.

The estate is the work of the celebrated local architect, Colwyn Foulkes, and is famous for its porches, which feature characters from the works of Lewis Carroll (one of my absolute favourite writers) and Edward Lear.

Shown above, complete with a jar of honey and perched in a pea-green boat, is the Pussycat from The Owl and the Pussycat.

From our Bilbao Correspondent

6.55 a.m. in my hotel bedroom in Bilbao on the last day of the select committee's visit to Spain, and I am attempting to blog on a weird keyboard that connects to the television. It is very clunky and hard to use.

Today we visit the famous co-operative at Mondragón and then fly Easyjet to Stansted, where we arrive at 10.30 tonight.

It has been a pretty exhausting four days, but very interesting, with sufficient parallels with Wales to give food for thought. I'll try to blog about it when I get home.

In our absence, it would appear that Gordon Brown has been thoroughly humbled, surrendering to potential rebels from the Labour back benches. He is spinning that he has "listened", but that is a line that is unlikely to wash. He will be perceived as weak and dithering, and there will be a renewal of the "gutless Gordon" taunts that were hurled at him when he backed off from calling a general election last year. The 42-day detention issue will be the next to cause him problems and it will be interesting to see if the rebels are sufficiently emboldened to try to press him into a U-turn again.

Whatever transpires, there is no doubt that the PM has been severely damaged by this episode. It will be a struggle for him to regain his authority, and many Labour MPs must surely be wondering whether he can survive to the end of this parliament.

Hasta la vista, Belgrano

A bitterly cold morning campaigning in Pensarn was followed by only a marginally warmer afternoon in Gele. Again, was very pleased with the reception, particularly from the kind lady in Belgrano who took pity on us, gave us hot coffee to warm us up and then made our happiness complete by telling us that she had always previously voted Labour but now intended to support the Tories.

David Cornock will be delighted to hear that tomorrow I travel with the select committee to Spain – the final act in the globalisation inquiry. The weather there is apparently cold and wet.

As a consequence of the above, blogging may be light for the next few days.

Revolt of the Bag Carriers

Gordon Brown flies back today from his visit to the United States (only ever so slightly overshadowed by the simultaneous presence of the Holy Father) to more trouble up t’mill in Westminster.

The Labour back benches are not happy about the scrapping of the 10p tax band. Nor, for that matter, are the Tories. So Gordon faces the significant threat of an embarrassing amendment to the Finance Bill being voted through when it is debated in the Commons the week after next.

According to the Telegraph, the Treasury is working on its own amendment to the Bill, to head off the prospect of a major Labour rebellion. However, the BBC reports a Treasury official as saying that there is no thought of “an imminent change to the policy”. More Brownian dithering, it would appear.

Most ominously, a number of parliamentary private secretaries have made their disgruntlement known. Earlier this week, Angela Smith, PPS to Yvette Cooper, was reported to be on the brink of resignation over the disappearance of the 10p band, and to have e-mailed friends informing them of her intentions. Later, after a transatlantic telephone conversation with Gordon, she changed her mind and issued a statement saying:

"I am reassured that my concerns are understood and that the Government remains committed to its anti-poverty agenda. Resignation of my post is therefore not envisaged."

“Not envisaged”, but apparently not ruled out, either.

Now we hear that three more ministerial aides are unhappy. Jeff Ennis, David Anderson and Celia Barlow have all told the Evening Standard of their concerns. Anderson told the Standard:

“I get bloody well paid whereas some people who are earning a third or a quarter of what I'm earning are going to be worse off. People are saying 'I can't believe that the Labour party has done this'.”

He’s right; that’s exactly what people are saying.

Two further PPSs, Stephen Pound and David Kidney, have also made it known that they are concerned about the policy.

Parliamentary private secretaries are generally regarded as the lowest level of the Government food chain, as, indeed, they are. Moreover, none of the discontented six is a household name. However, the importance of the “bag carriers” should not be understated.

Gordon has better reason than almost anyone to recall that it was a wave of resignations by Brownite parliamentary private secretaries in September, 2006 that proved the catalyst for Tony Blair’s announcement of his timetable for retirement as Prime Minister. Blair read the runes and knew that, if he didn’t submit, the wave of rebellion would soon progress up the ministerial ladder. The PPSs, as unpaid aides, had least to lose by being the first to resign, but potentially much to gain.

Gordon will therefore have more than jet lag to cope with over the weekend. Does he do a U-turn over the 10p band and look weak, or does he try to tough it out and risk more open rebellion and a deeply wounding defeat?

Or does he just dither a bit longer?

My reader in Endsleigh Road

Spent this afternoon and evening campaigning with our council candidates in Ruthin (Bob Costain) and Colwyn (Cheryl Carlisle).

The weather was miserable – the coldest I can ever remember in April. We were cheered, however, by the general mood of dissatisfaction with the Labour party and the hugely encouraging support for the Conservatives. There seems little doubt that people are desperate for a change.

A special word of appreciation for the nice lady in Endsleigh Road who told me that she is a reader of this blog. Thank you; you made my day!

Gwyneth Dunwoody

Like most parliamentarians, I was very sorry indeed to learn of the death of Gwyneth Dunwoody. All agree that she was a good, independent-minded MP, never afraid to challenge her own government when she felt it was in the wrong.

My first encounter with Gwyneth was in 2000, when I was a PPC. I was having tea with Stephen O’Brien when Gwyneth entered the room. Stephen introduced me to her as the next Conservative candidate for the City of Chester.

Gwyneth beamed at me.

“I’m delighted to meet you and wish you the best of luck,” she said.

“And, come election time, I look forward to visiting Chester market and telling everybody not to vote for you.”

Why Labour are doing so badly

Last week’s quarter point cut in Bank of England base rate appears unlikely to filter through to borrowers to any appreciable extent. Only a handful of lenders have passed on the cut through their standard variable rate deals and several, including Nationwide, Alliance & Leicester and Britannia have actually increased the rates they charge borrowers.

Today, Halifax announced that it is increasing one of its two-year fixed mortgage rate deals from 6.09 per cent to 6.59 per cent, adding £46 a month to borrowers' repayments on a £150,000 loan.

Meanwhile, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has announced funding for 300 additional police posts to target radicalisation among young Muslims.

The coincidence of the announcement with the local government election campaign has not gone unnoticed. Announcements of this sort ought not to be made during the “purdah” period of three weeks prior to an election. Indeed, it was the “purdah” rule that was cited as the Post Office’s reason for suspending the round of branch closure announcements. Sauce for the goose is apparently not sauce for the gander.

I doubt, however, that Smith’s announcement will do Labour much good. People have become accustomed to their M.O.

I received an e-mail from a constituent today that sets out, more simply and eloquently than I ever could, precisely why Labour, for all their continued spinning, are doing so badly in the polls:

People need to see something being done that has some sort of effect for them. Working class people like us judge the state of the economy on what is in our own pockets. If we have less money, things are bad, if we have more, things are good. It is a simplistic and basic way of assessing and passing judgment on forces which are often beyond our control or understanding.

Crime and anti-social behaviour is no different. It doesn’t matter what the statistics say. It doesn’t matter how many glossy reports we see in the papers promoted by PR departments about multi-agency action days and initiatives. People judge the situation on what they see. If the peaceful enjoyment of their home comes easier, things are good. If the nuisance continues or worsens, things are bad.

It need not be any more complicated.

Nothing to add, really.

The Road to Hell

The road to hell, they say, is paved with good intentions. From today, anyone driving along that road will do so with 2.5 per cent biofuel in his tank.

The Renewable Transport Fuel Obligation comes into force today. It requires that 2.5 per cent of the petrol and diesel sold at filling stations should consist of biofuel. This will increase to 5 per cent in 2010.

This all sounds very good and green, but the truth, according to campaigners, is that, far from combating global warming, the policy will speed up climate change and cause irreversible damage to wildlife habitats.

Oxfam has drawn attention to a warning by the UN that increased use of biofuels could result in as many as 60 million people in poor countries facing clearance from their land in order to make way for biofuel plantations of palm and sugar cane.

The RSPB has also heavily criticised the policy, saying:

The world seems to have gone biofuels mad! Across the US, biofuel production plants are springing up that will be able to process more corn than the US can grow. UK and EU policy is now adding to the demand, increasing the price of crops across the world and encouraging more rainforest destruction, more ploughing up of grassland and more drainage of wetlands. It is utter folly to destroy ecosystems that are bursting with life and storing carbon so that biofuel crops, such as palm oil, can be grown.

The dash for biofuels, together with increased demand for protein-rich foods from emerging economies such as China, India and Brazil, is also contributing to sharply increasing food prices. Mexico has witnessed mass demonstrations against increases in the price of corn meal, while, only last week, there were food riots in Haiti.

Even rich, industrialised nations are not immune. Today, the Times reports that Japan has almost exhausted its reserves of butter and comments:

Japan’s butter shortages have exposed an alarming effect of what economists at Goldman Sachs describe as the long-term, “structural” shift towards higher food prices currently being felt: that many of the existing arrangements crafted by wealthier nations to feed their populations are now in peril.

The Fuel Obligation is undoubtedly well intended. The planet does need to become less reliant on fossil fuels for transport. But the unforeseen consequences of the policy appear, in some respects, to be worse than the problem it is intended to address.

The nations of the world must, above all, feed themselves. Natural habitats are a finite and diminishing resource and must be protected.

So if starvation, food riots and the destruction of the environment are the unintended products of the Obligation, then, like biofuel itself, the Obligation should be refined.

Say no more

The infighting gripping the Labour party is continuing and, if anything, appears to be intensifying. Gordon’s loss of the confidence of his own troops is also becoming increasingly apparent.

According to today’s Evening Standard, Ian Gibson, MP for Norwich North, has described the Prime Minister as “like a scared rabbit in the headlights”.

Meanwhile, Brighton Kemptown MP, Des Turner, said there was a “great deal of unease” over Mr Brown's premiership, particularly over the abolition of the 10 per cent tax rate and detaining terror suspects for 42 days.

Gordon’s lack of self-confidence is also worsening, if his latest rhetoric is anything to go by. Speaking in Ilford today, he promised that he would, in future, show that he was listening. "We will do everything in our power to listen to the concerns and aspirations of people and show we are taking the right steps," he said.

His change of style, may, however, have come too late. The Standard reports that:

a senior member of Tony Blair's last Cabinet said yesterday that Brownites and Blairites - who gathered recently - all now shared the same analysis of Labour's prospects.

“We all agreed that we are f****d,” the ex-minister said.

Somewhere, over the Rainbow

Of a desperately bleak series of polls, the latest will be the cause of the greatest consternation in the Downing Street bunker.

For eleven years, the Prime Minister has fostered a reputation for economic competence. The reputation was not wholly deserved, given the legacy that Labour inherited from the last Conservative administration, and it was built upon the shaky foundations of credit-fuelled consumer demand financed by increasing property values.

Now that the shock waves of the credit crunch are washing around the world, the British economy looks peculiarly fragile. Consumers are drawing in their horns, property prices are falling and, for increasing numbers of people, negative equity is a real concern.

The FT/Harris poll, published today, confirms that people in the UK are indeed desperately worried and have less confidence in their political leadership than those of any other major Western nation. An enormous 68 per cent of respondents said that they were “not confident at all” in the Government’s ability to deal with the economic crisis, against 52 per cent in Germany, 51 per cent in the US, 50 per cent in France, 43 per cent in Italy and 36 per cent in Spain.

Furthermore, 25 per cent of UK respondents blamed “excessive taxation” as the biggest problem facing the economy today – a figure equalled only by Italy.

So, with 68 per cent of Britons having no confidence in the economic competence of the Government and 25 per cent blaming Labour’s taxes for the country’s financial woes, it would be surprising if a state of at least moderate gloom had not dampened the PM’s usually sunny disposition.

But not so, it would appear. According to the FT:

People close to Mr Brown shrugged off the findings. The Prime Minister would be “happy to be judged” on his record of “stability and achievement” and the way he would “maintain stability”, they said.

Ah yes, of course. That word “stability” again.

Tap your heels together as you say it, and you WILL get home to Kansas.

Well Done, Prime Minister

One decision that the Prime Minister does appear to have made is to institute an annual day of celebration for the Armed Forces.

According to the Telegraph, which has been campaigning for an Armed Forces Day, the PM has:

“signalled his backing for an annual day of parades, tattoos and other events, to be held on a weekend, to allow the public to express its support and respect for the military.”

On Friday, I attended a ceremony in Min-y-Don gardens, Old Colwyn, where 60 saplings were planted, one in honour of each serviceman from Old Colwyn who died in the First World War.

The loss of such a large number of young men in such a relatively small community as Old Colwyn must have been the most appalling tragedy for the town.

The least we can do is to remember them and all those other young men and women who served, and continue to serve, their country is to honour them by such a day of celebration.

I commend the Prime Minister for making this decision, which will be applauded by the entire country

Appeasement

There has clearly been a significant amount of anti-Gordon briefing going on within Labour ranks over the past few days. The Sundays are full of it.

Former Home Secretary Charles Clarke is said to be behind a plan to garner support for a stalking horse candidate to challenge Gordon if Labour does badly in the local government elections on 1 May.

There is little doubt that Gordon is now in the throes of a crisis of enormous proportions. The seriousness of his position is underlined by today’s YouGov poll for the Sunday Times, which shows Labour 16 points behind the Tories.

The Telegraph dramatically reports that the collapse in support for Brown is the most abrupt for any British Prime Minister on record – faster even than that experienced by Neville Chamberlain in 1940, after the German invasion of Norway.

Gordon’s biggest problem is that the reputation for vacillation that he acquired after the “election that never was” has clearly stuck. The poll finds that 62 per cent of respondents think that the Prime Minister “tends to dither”, whilst only 26 per cent consider him to be “decisive”.

That reputation is, if anything, likely to increase. A Labour backbench revolt over the scrapping of the 10p income tax band is gathering momentum, as is a further rebellion on the issue of detention without trial. There is a large number of Labour MPs in marginal seats - potential backers of Charles Clarke’s stalking horse – who now have nothing to lose by standing up to Gordon on these issues.

According to the Times:

“Geoff Hoon, the chief whip, has told Brown that he will lose next month’s Commons vote [on detention] unless concessions are made. ‘As it stands, Gordon will go down by 30 votes,’ said a minister. ‘In the current climate, his leadership might not survive that blow.’ Downing Street sources insisted last night that no further concessions were planned.

Planned or not, those concessions may have to be made if the alternative is a defeat of such a magnitude. And with that appeasement will inevitably come further accusations of dithering, which the Prime Minister will find very difficult to shake off.

New Talents?

The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom appeared on an American talent show this week.

Manically flashing a scary, preternaturally white smile, Gordon Brown told the viewers of American Idol that HM Government was donating 20 million mosquito nets, at a cost of $10 each, to malaria-stricken countries.

A couple of interesting questions arise, to which answers no doubt will be forthcoming over the next few days.

First, was all the $200 million new money, or has some or all of it previously been announced? For example, at the Davos World Economic Forum in January, 2005, Tony Blair announced:

“Malaria kills over a million people in Africa each year. The majority are young children. Around 10,000 women die each year from problems associated with malaria infection during pregnancy.

“This tragedy need not happen. It is almost entirely preventable using technologies that are already available. Widespread use of insecticide treated mosquito nets… can radically reduce disease and death.

“I can announce today that the UK is ready to meet more than its share of the total cost through a contribution of at least £45 million - to cut deaths from malaria in Africa.”

Second, why did Gordon feel it appropriate to announce such a major spending commitment on a US light entertainment show?

Call me a stickler for tradition, but wouldn’t the chamber of the House of Commons have been a more appropriate venue?

Just because you're paranoid...

Yesterday, the Bank of England cut its base rate by .25 of a point to 5 per cent.

In normal times, this would have been the signal for mild celebration and even the raising of a glass or two.

These, however, are not normal times. Despite the fact that the rate cut was widely anticipated, yesterday morning the Nationwide and the Alliance and Leicester both increased their rates on new fixed interest loans, as did the Woolwich earlier in the week.

The fact is that, whatever the Bank of England does, interest rates in the real economy continue to rise because of the lack of confidence in the money markets – a lack of confidence described as “paranoia” by Edmund Conway in this insightful article in today’s Telegraph.

This week’s IMF report on the global economic outlook makes gloomy, not to say alarming, reading for anyone concerned about the prospects for the UK housing market, and, in turn, for the British economy as a whole. As the IMF soberly puts it:

“In the United Kingdom, growth is forecast to slow to 1.6 per cent in 2008, as the lagged effects of the 2007 monetary tightening, a turning in the house price cycle, and the financial turbulence are projected to slow activity, despite monetary policy easing. Only a moderate recovery is foreseen for 2009.”

2008 is therefore likely to be a bad year for the housing market as a whole; yesterday, the Times’s Anatole Kaletsky was forecasting a property price collapse of as much as 30 per cent. Unlike previous shake-outs however, these price falls are unlikely to provide many with buying opportunities; the “paranoia” in the money markets is likely to continue to make money scarce, particularly for first-time buyers, unless they are able to put up a hefty deposit.

Against this background, the soothing noises that Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling continue to make are deeply worrying. Either they are in denial about the state of the global economy and the UK's particularly exposed position after eleven years of their stewardship or they fully understand it, but are not being straight with the British people.

In either case, their lack of leadership is deplorable.

Stumped

The Easter recess brings the usual round of constituency visits, which are, in many respects, the best part of the job.

This morning, I visited Ysgol Llansansior at St George, a small Church controlled school, highly popular with parents and children alike. The pupils radiate an almost palpable sense of happiness.

I was introduced to Year 3 by the head teacher, Ian Pimblott.

“Do any of you have a question for Mr Jones?” he asked.

A small boy shot his hand up.

“Do you know where Billie Piper lives?” he enquired.

I had to admit to the gap in my knowledge.

Stability! Stability!

Worrying figures today highlight the extreme fragility of the housing market. According to the Halifax, house prices fell 2.5 per cent in March – the biggest monthly fall since 1992. House prices are now just 1.1% higher than they were a year ago, the slowest annual growth rate for 12 years.

Gordon Brown in an interview with the BBC’s Nick Robinson, is maintaining the “stability” line that he and his cabinet have been repeating like demented Daleks since the budget.

According to Gordon:

"If you look at this situation, because we've got low inflation we can cut interest rates, because we have had low debt, we can afford to keep our public spending programme in line and to borrow at the right time to help the economy come though difficult times.”

This is, of course, utter baloney. The headline rate of inflation is nowhere near as high as the true rate in the real economy. The Bank of England cuts interest rates, but Libor continues on its upward trajectory. Debt is not low, it is very high indeed. And our budgetary deficit is the worst in the whole of the developed world, with the exception of such economic powerhouses as Hungary, Pakistan and Egypt.

If Gordon still believes his own propaganda, then he is the only one who does.

The pressure will be on the Bank of England to cut interest rates on Thursday. Even if it does, however, it will be unlikely to help the housing market much. There is little spare mortgage money about: yesterday, the last 100 per cent mortgage was withdrawn. Daily, lenders are withdrawing mortgage products. It is now virtually impossible to get on the property ladder.

Of course, Gordon could do something to stimulate the housing market, by, for example, adopting Conservative policy and raising the stamp duty threshold for first-time buyers to £250,000, so that nine out of ten pay nothing at all.

Or he could scrap the stupid, unnecessary Home Information Packs, which are, according to property professionals, acting as a significant disincentive to sellers.

But that, of course, would make Yvette Copper look an idiot. And that wouldn’t do, would it?

Two Bob Trouble

The 10p tax band was abolished over the weekend, leaving some lower earners as much as £232 per annum worse off.

This is causing considerable unrest within the Labour party. Apparently, Gordon was heckled over the issue at a Parliamentary Labour party meeting and Greg Pope, a former Labour whip, tabled an Early Day Motion criticising the policy, only to withdraw it after, it is understood, pressure from the current whips. The Government has denied Pope’s assertion that is has "offered to look again at the situation."

John Hutton was the unfortunate cabinet member put up to defend the policy in the media yesterday. He admitted that there would be some impact on the lower paid, but insisted that, because of tax credits, families with young children would be better off.

Several points of interest emerge from this saga.

First, it illustrates that the “tax cut” was indeed a “tax con”. If Gordon had really wanted to relieve the overall tax burden without penalising low paid workers, he could have done so by increasing personal allowances. That, however, would have required cuts in public spending to which he was already committed. So he opted instead for the time-honoured smoke-and-mirrors routine, which has now backfired.

Second, it demonstrates a key element of the Labour psyche: taxpayers should not be allowed to keep as much of their earnings as possible, but should, rather, pay up and then come to the Government as supplicants, asking for a bit of their own money back, with all the Byzantine bureaucracy that the process entails.

Third, it shows that the formerly quiescent ranks of Labour backbenchers are not disposed to keep mum over Government policies that threaten their own political survival. Gordon can therefore expect more rebellions in the dying days of his rule.

Backing Britannia

A bit of good news in today’s Mail on Sunday. Britannia may, after all, be returning to our coinage.

The two pound coin is due for a redesign, and John Porteous, of the Royal Mint Advisory Committee on Coin Design, has indicated that Britannia may well figure on it.

An Early Day motion has so far attracted 69 signatures in support of Britannia. Check it out, and if your MP hasn’t yet signed, write to him/her urging that he/she do so as soon as possible.

The Olympic Ideal

The Olympic flame was today paraded through the streets of London, in a spectacle that would have been farcical if not so deeply dispiriting.

Runner after runner bore the torch, surrounded by a human cage of stony-faced Chinese security men wearing blue jogging suits and jaunty baseball caps. They, in turn, were guarded by a phalanx of Metropolitan police officers, bizarrely sporting cyclists’ safety helmets.

All along the route, protestors against China’s involvement in Tibet attempted to seize the torch, but were beaten back by the police. 35 arrests were made.

In Downing Street, Gordon Brown, looking even more ill at ease than usual, posed for pictures, but, spinelessly enough, avoided touching the torch.

The procession ended at the Millennium Dome, the snow closing in on a relieved-looking Kelly Holmes. It was a grey, dismal, miserable day.

I bet none of it will be seen in Beijing.

Round Objects

A couple of weeks ago, I acquired an Eros card from a young lady on Victoria Street. It cost me £20 and I’m very pleased with it.

An Eros card is not, I should make clear, an ausweis affording entry to some dodgy nightclub in Soho. It is the new Evening Standard loyalty card and it enables me to buy the Standard (of which I am a huge fan) at 33 per cent off the cover price, so it’s a pretty good deal. It’s called an Eros card for the very sensible reason that it bears a picture of the Piccadilly Circus statue that also features on the Standard’s masthead.

I also carry an Oyster card. This is the electronic pass that enables me to get about London on the Tube or buses at a fraction of the full price of a ticket. Everyone carries one; you’d be mad not to do so.

The only problem with the Oyster is that, if you use it, records of your journey are stored for several weeks on Transport for London’s computers. I don’t particularly like the idea of Ken Livingstone knowing where I’m going or where I’ve been, even if it is never anywhere interesting, so I haven’t registered my Oyster. The laugh will be on me, I suppose, if it ever gets pinched.

Increasingly, we rely on electronic means of payment. Barclays have introduced a card that lets you pay for small items such as coffee or newspapers without the trouble of tapping in a PIN. And I’m told that the Tube (Ken Livingstone again) are trialling a system that stores credits on our mobile phones, so that there will be no need even to carry a card.

So, one must wonder, what is the point of cash? Why lug about heavy metal tokens that make our pockets bulge, tend to get dropped at inconvenient times and in awkward places and are home to colonies of heaven knows how many forms of health-threatening microbial life? Hasn’t cash had its day?

Well, perhaps it soon will. But, as the Nubian in Gladiator says, “Not yet, not yet.”

We’ll need coins for a while longer. And, from time to time, those coins will need to be updated.

This week, the Royal Mint unveiled its new designs for UK coinage, to replace the existing series, introduced 40 years ago. The new coins, designed by the young Bangor artist, Matthew Dent, are unusual. The pound coin bears the Shield of the Royal Arms, while each of the six remaining denominations carry representations of fragments of the same Shield, which, when arranged correctly, form another representation of the whole.

It’s very clever and I’m sure that, after a while, we will all get used to it. The jigsaw effect will also doubtless provide amusement to small children on long train journeys.

There are two aspects of the new coins that I don’t like, however. Call me a stick-in-the-mud, but I wish that Britannia was still there. She’s been around for centuries and, like the bulldog and the Spitfire, is an immediately recognisable image of Britishness. She must be brought back.

I am also rather unhappy that there are no distinctively Welsh symbols on the new pieces. At present, various editions of the pound coin bear images of the Leek, the Dragon and (my favourite, for local reasons) the Menai Bridge. England, Northern Ireland and Scotland also have their own variants, so everyone’s happy.

The Royal Shield, however, has no uniquely Welsh symbol. There are English and Scottish lions and an Irish harp. But nothing Welsh. I understand that this is for historic reasons and I’m not going to go on about it. But, nevertheless, I would like my country’s money, if I still have to carry it, to bear some symbol of my corner of these islands.

So, a plea to the Royal Mint: by all means use your mould-breaking new design. Ignore the inevitable moans from the Luddites. They’ll soon come to terms with it.

But do please ask your talented Welsh designer to come up with Welsh, English, Scottish and Irish editions of the pound coins.

Bring back Britannia.

And do, of course, continue minting your still indispensable products in Wales.

Gerry's Fine

Further evidence today of the growing disarray within the Labour party and Gordon's inability to stamp his authority on his increasingly restive troops.

Over the weekend, an article by Ivan Lewis, a junior health minister, was reproduced in the News of the World. The piece was highly critical of the Government. Lewis commented that:

“at a time of growing insecurity [people’s] anger is ignited when they feel the Government is losing touch with what fairness means to the mainstream majority who work hard, play by the rules and are feeling squeezed by rising utility bills, the cost of petrol and rising council tax.”

So far as I am aware, Mr Lewis is still in position and has not been disciplined by Gordon. Indeed, the only comment by Gordon on Mr Lewis’s criticism that I have yet been able to find is the limply pathetic: “Ivan’s fine.” Talk about turning the other cheek.

Now Gerry Sutcliffe, licensing minister in the Department for Culture, Media and Sport, has added to the mounting rumble of discontent from the Labour front bench. Gerry was quoted in the licensees’ newspaper, Morning Advertiser, as saying that the trade was “right to be upset” about the increases in alcohol duty imposed in Alistair Darling’s budget.

Encouraging the industry to campaign for a deferral of the increases, Gerry said:

"We, and I speak as a champion of the pub trade, want the Chancellor to change his mind."

Someone must have had a quiet word in Gerry’s ear, because he has now done a bit of an about-turn, issuing the following extraordinary statement, which might easily have been lifted straight out of a script for the satirical comedy, The Thick of It:

"My comments do not accurately reflect my views. I fully support the tax measures in the budget, and the Chancellor's decisions on tax.”

One might reasonably remark that it is a funny sort of minister who makes comments that “do not accurately reflect his views”. One might also reasonably wonder which of his other comments do not accurately reflect his views, either.

So far as I’m aware, Gerry Sutcliffe is also still in position and hasn’t been disciplined by Gordon, either.

No doubt Gerry’s fine, too.

Not Bad at All

Actually, she wasn’t bad, and no, she didn’t wear a stab-proof vest.

William Hague, deputising for David Cameron, welcomed Harriet Harman to her place and pointed out that she was the first female Labour MP to answer Prime Minister’s Questions, following in the proud tradition of Margaret Thatcher, whose name, he remarked, was revered both on our side of the House and by the Prime Minister.

Harriet was a bit prickly in response. She asked why Theresa May, her shadow as Leader of the House, wasn’t leading for the Opposition. She wagged her finger at Theresa, and told her that she shouldn’t let William get away with it.

William seemed genuinely hurt at her crabbiness. He had tried to be nice to her, he really had. Given that she didn’t appear to want to reciprocate, however, perhaps she could tell the House more about her choice of dress. She had mentioned to the Mail that she tried to dress appropriately to the occasion; did she therefore dress as a clown when attending cabinet meetings?

Alan Johnson whispered in Harriet’s ear and she nodded. No, she said, and she wasn’t going to take sartorial lessons from “the man in the baseball cap”.

So far, so good, but it didn’t get any better for her. She was shaky on detail and nowhere near as well briefed as Gordon. She didn’t reply to any of the substantive points raised by William, which were, essentially, on the rising cost of living and the increasing tax burden.

And then she mentioned her blog. Not only did she mention it, but referred to its section titled “Harriet in the High Street”. And immediately, visibly, regretted doing so. The House roared, and the words “flak jacket” echoed around the chamber. Even the Labour benches laughed.

By 12.30, she seemed exhausted and anxious to get the whole business over and done with. She thought she was out of the wood when she answered an easy question from a Labour member, John Spellar, about free buss passes.

And then, at 12.31, the Speaker called Peter Bottomley. Peter Bottomley is no mug. The exchange went as follows:

Peter Bottomley (Worthing, West) (Con): When the Government changed the emphasis from the retail prices index to the consumer prices index, were they aware that their new choice of index would be substantially lower than the higher one? What does the Leader of the House have to say to the pensioners who suffer because of it?

Ms Harman: I will ask the Chancellor to write to the hon. Gentleman on that point.

What the Hansard record doesn’t convey are the ums, the ers, the heavenward-rolled eyes and the general blowed-if-I-know vibes Harriet gave off at that point.

But, still, she wasn’t bad. Not bad at all.

Peckham Wry

What is it about Peckham that causes so many problems to Labour MPs?

Yesterday, the area's parliamentary representative, Harriet Harman, decided to go on a walkabout in her constituency. Not only was she accompanied by four strapping police officers, but she was encased in a rather fetching Kevlar™ stab-proof vest.

The suggestion that she had plumped for that particular wardrobe item because Peckham was a dodgy area didn’t go down too well with the locals. Mrs Beatrice Smith, 63, commented:

“The only time we see Harriet Harman is either on voting day or doing some PR stunt. There is a lot of trouble on the estates but we don’t get given stab vests.”

This morning, on the Today programme, a shrilly defensive Ms Harman was given a bit of a roasting by John Humphrys (who could scarcely suppress his delight at her discomfiture). No, she didn’t wear a stab-proof vest to walk about her constituency beacause she didn't feel safe without it, she insisted. Perish the thought. She had simply put the gear on as a "courtesy" to the bobbies who were escorting her.

Digging herself deeper into the hole that was threatening to collapse on top of her, she confided:

"Just as I might wear a hard hat on a building site or an Indian outfit going to meet Indian constituents, it's just about wearing the kit."

Harriet has clearly learned nothing from the experience of her cabinet colleague, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, who last January told the Sunday Times that she wouldn’t feel safe walking alone after dark on the streets of Hackney, or even Kensington and Chelsea, but that she had once “bought a kebab in Peckham” at night. It later emerged that she had been accompanied on her intrepid foray by “a man with broad shoulders”. That didn’t go down too well with the locals, either.

Tomorrow, in Gordon’s absence, Harriet will field Prime Minister’s Questions. Something to look forward to, if only to see what “kit” she decides to put on.